75 Reasons the DJ Hates You

1. The song you are requesting is being played.
2. You ask for a song that nobody will dance to.
3. You tell the DJ he sucks just because he won’t play your song.
4. The only songs you know are line dances.
5. You want to hear every song by Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.
6. You complain that no one likes the song when the dance floor is full.
7. You think reserving a table turns the DJ into your own jukebox.
8. You ask to sing on the microphone like it’s karaoke night.
9. You want to hear your song next or your leaving.
10. You declare that you just got to the club so the DJ should play all the hits just for you.
11. Your sad face does not move the DJ into feeling sorry for you and playing your request.
12. You have no concept that the DJ accepts tips.
13. You come to the booth and ask the DJ if he is the DJ.
14. You ask the DJ if he plays any good music.
15. Your requests aren’t any where near the format the DJ plays.
16. You demand to hear your song because you are about to leave.
17. When we say we dont play a genre, you ask for more of that genre.
18. You keep asking what song is next.
19. You want to look at every song we have.
20. You don’t dance to your request, then ask for more.
21. You think the dance floor is a portrait studio.
22. You make silly poses at the DJ like you are DJing.
23. You are part of a bachelorette party.
24. You grab or touch equipment while the DJ is playing.
25. You are so drunk you think the DJ booth is the bar.
26. You stay buy the DJ booth hoping to pick up women.
27. You keep trying to tell the DJ your life story while we are mixing.
28. You think you know what everyone wants to hear.
29. You ask for a song to be played again 5 minutes after hearing it.
30. You say you know the owner/manager in an attempt to get a song played.
31. You ask for the same song everytime you are there.
32. You take pictures of the DJ without warning him of the flash.
33. Your so drunk you keep falling into the DJ booth.
34. You spill a drink on the DJ equipment.
35. You ask that the volume be turned down.
36. You keep trying to get the DJ to dance with you.
37. You tell the DJ what songs go together that don’t go together.
38. You stand by the DJ and stare awkwardly.
39. You think it’s cool to just stand on the dancefloor and text.
40. You have to talk louder than the music by the DJ booth.
41. You think the DJ booth is a coat check.
42. You offer to tip but never do.
43. You run ladies off the dance floor.
44. You wear so much cologne/perfume the DJ’s eyes water.
45. You ask us to play songs off your phone or download them.
46. You keep asking for a shout out all night long.
47. You want us to play a song you made.
48. You act like the DJ is your boyfriend when he is not.
49. You try to sing or hum the song you want to hear.
50. Instead of asking for a song you stick a phone in our face to show us.
51. You don’t know the song just the number on the CD.
52. You get all of your friends to ask for the same song that we won’t play.
53. You interrupt the DJ to get him to take your picture.
54. Your idea of good music isn’t.
55. You think old school means 5 year ago.
56. You ask when do we start to playing something crunk.
57. When you hear a slow jam you think it’s a signal to hump women like a dog.
58.  If it isn’t hip hop you just call it techno.
59. You keep asking for requests after the club closes.
60. You know the DJ and text him requests to get you in the door.
61. You know the DJ is working and you call over and over expecting an answer.
62. You ask for a song and stay at the booth until the DJ plays it.
63. You fart by the DJ booth.
64. You want something faster but are requesting something slower.
65. You keep trying to fist bump and high five the DJ.
66. You say the other DJ always plays your song when there is no other DJ.
67. You act worse than a 5 year old in the club.
68. You say you are spending a ton of money and we should play your songs regardless.
69. You want an in-depth explanation on how the equipment works.
70.  Your requests are more like demands.
71. You vomit in or around the DJ booth.
72. You tell the DJ how bad the song playing is , then request an even worse one.
73. You ask the DJ to play something with a beat.
74. You threaten to get the manager to make you play a song.
75. Your song was played but you want it again because you were in the bathroom.

Yes. Yes. A million times, yes.

(Source: thedjgospel.blogspot.com)


I made this for a show that never happened.

[12.29.10.loredo.mix]

Utah Jazz - Quincy
Moby - Porcelain [Atlantic Connection Remix] 
Michael Jackson - Rock With You [Marky & S.P.Y. Remix] 
Michael Jackson - Butterflies [A-Sides Remix] 
Michael Jackson - Human Nature VIP [Makoto & The Specialist Remix]
Bare - Shot Me Down
Skrillex f. Bare Noize/Foreign Beggars - Scatta
Camo & Krooked - Dakota
The Pixies - Where Is My Mind? [Bassnectar Remix] 

(Source: thestateofthearts.org / the state of the arts)


I was playing around with hotkeys in Virtual DJ and this is what I made.

[8.06.11.hotkey.mix]

Track listing:

Robyn - Call Your Girlfriend [Feed Me Remix]
Dodge & Fuski - Pornstep
Feed Me f. Tasha Baxter - Strange Behaviour
Skrillex - First of the Year
J. Rabbit & Tremourz - Sexy Party
Flux Pavilion - Bass Cannon
Darth & Vader - Return of the Jedi
Bad Company & Trace - Flashback (Tumpa)

(Source: thestateofthearts.org / the state of the arts)


dealbreaker:

GUESTBREAKER: You’re a DJ
Playing records really isn’t that hard, so, while I think it’s cute that you’ve found a creative outlet to assuage your trust-fund boredom, stop pretending to be a musician. Drums, guitar, trumpet, clarinet - those all take practice. DJing doesn’t, no matter how super-serious you look when you’re “matching beats.” Stop talking about how you’re “over Justice”, “weak-ass beats,” or how “Italians were doing it better 20 years ago.” The only differences between you and my ipod shuffle-function is that the ipod will play what I want to hear AND it doesn’t have an annoying coke-habit.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Ryan.

I am glad that I don’t fit into [most] of these categories. I play other instruments (although I hardly consider myself a musician anymore), but it’s true, I am basically a human iPod, I do make the most idiotic bassface, and I do give the Italians a lot of credit.
I also think it’s great they used Steve Aoki for this post, given his Coachella infamy.

dealbreaker:

GUESTBREAKER: You’re a DJ

Playing records really isn’t that hard, so, while I think it’s cute that you’ve found a creative outlet to assuage your trust-fund boredom, stop pretending to be a musician. Drums, guitar, trumpet, clarinet - those all take practice. DJing doesn’t, no matter how super-serious you look when you’re “matching beats.” Stop talking about how you’re “over Justice”, “weak-ass beats,” or how “Italians were doing it better 20 years ago.” The only differences between you and my ipod shuffle-function is that the ipod will play what I want to hear AND it doesn’t have an annoying coke-habit.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Ryan.

I am glad that I don’t fit into [most] of these categories. I play other instruments (although I hardly consider myself a musician anymore), but it’s true, I am basically a human iPod, I do make the most idiotic bassface, and I do give the Italians a lot of credit.

I also think it’s great they used Steve Aoki for this post, given his Coachella infamy.


UT Students — A Few, At Least — Break From Studying To Party Poolside (Texas Exes) →

UT’s RecSports Division put on its annual Splash Bash this week, but only 40 or so people tore themselves from studying so they could sunbathe poolside and soak up blaring dubstep.

DJ Dub Zero performed in between the three student bands’ sets, and while his music would definitely work at a fraternity party, the wompy bass had a pair of Jason Statham stunt doubles glaring at the DJ booth for most of the afternoon.

I cannot stop laughing. I didn’t notice this at all and this makes me very happy.

By the way, I played a LOT of downtempo stuff — I have the track listing if you don’t believe me.

(Source: thestateofthearts.org)